|
WATCH
OUT FOR MAD
!
CONSPIRACY THEORIES
PARANOID
FANTASIES ABOUT SEPT 11 Astute
observers of history are aware that for every notable event there will be at
least one ,usually several wild conspiracy theories which spring up around
it. "Mahatma
Ghandi’s ghost throttled Hendrix" "Saddam
Hussein was breeding an army of genetically modified
Yeti". "Hitler
was half Werewolf" "Space
aliens replaced Nixon with a clone" etc,etc. The
bigger the event, the more ridiculous and more numerous are the fanciful
rantings which circulate in relation to it. So
it's hardly surprising that the events of Sept 11 2001 have spawned their fair
share of these ludicrous fairy tales. And
as always, there is - sadly - a small but gullible percentage of the population
eager to lap up these tall tales, regardless of facts or rational
analysis. One
of the wilder stories circulating about Sept 11, and one that has attracted
something of a cult following amongst conspiracy buffs is that it was carried
out by 19 fanatical Arab hijackers, masterminded by an evil genius named Osama
bin Laden, with no apparent motivation other than that they "hate our
freedoms." Never
a group of people to be bothered by facts, the perpetrators of this cartoon
fantasy have constructed an elaborately woven web of delusions and
unsubstantiated hearsay in order to promote this garbage across the internet and
the media to the extent that a number of otherwise rational people have actually
fallen under its spell. Normally
I don't even bother debunking this
kind of junk, but the effect that this paranoid myth is beginning to have
requires a little rational analysis, in order to consign it to the same rubbish bin as
all such silly conspiracy theories. These
crackpots even contend that the extremist Bush regime was caught unaware by the
attacks, had no hand in organizing them, and actually would have stopped them if
it had been able to. Blindly
ignoring the stand down of the US air-force, the insider trading on airline
stocks - which remains uninvestigated, the complicit behaviour of Bush on the
morning of the attacks, the controlled demolition of the WTC, the firing of a
missile into the Pentagon and a host of other documented proofs that the Bush
regime was behind the attacks, the conspiracy theorists stick doggedly to a
silly story about 19 Arab hijackers somehow managing to commandeer 4 planes
simultaneously and fly them around US airspace for nearly 2 hours , crashing
them into important buildings,
without the US intelligence services having any idea that it was coming, and
without the Air Force knowing what
to do. The
huge difficulties with such a
stupid story force them to invent even more stupid stories to distract from its
core silliness, and thus it has escalated into a mythic fantasy of truly
gargantuan proportions. It's
difficult to apply rational analysis to such unmitigated stupidity, but that is the
task which I take on in this article. However, it should be noted that one of
the curious characteristics of conspiracy theorists is that they effortlessly
change their so called evidence in response to each aspect which is debunked. As
soon as one delusion is unmasked, they simply invent another to replace it, and
deny that the first ever existed. Eventually,
when they have turned full circle through this endlessly changing fantasy fog,
they then re-invent the original delusion and deny that you ever debunked it,
thus beginning the circle once more. This technique is known as "the fruit.
loop" and saves the conspiracy theorist from ever having to see any of their
ideas through to their (il)logical conclusions. According
to the practitioners of the fruit loop,
19 Arabs took over the 4 planes by subduing the passengers and crew
through the use of guns, knives ,box cutters and gas, and then used electronic
guidance systems which they had smuggled on board to fly the planes to their
targets. The
suspension of disbelief required for this outrageous concoction is only for the
hard core conspiracy theorist. For
a start, they conveniently skip over the awkward fact that there weren't any
Arabs on the planes. If
there were, one must speculate that they somehow got on board without being
filmed by any of the security cameras and without being registered on the
passenger lists. But
the curly question of how they are supposed to have got on board is all too mundane for the exciting
world of the conspiracy theorist. With
vague mumblings that they must have been using false ID ( but never specifying
which IDs they are alleged to have used, or how these were traced to their real
identities), they quickly bypass this problem, to relate exciting and sinister
tales about how some of the fictitious fiends were actually searched before
boarding because they looked suspicious. However,
as inevitably happens with any web
of lies, this simply paints them into an even more difficult corner. How are
they supposed to have got on board with all that stuff if they were searched ?
And if they used gas in a confined space, they would have been affected
themselves unless they also had
masks in their luggage. "Excuse
me sir, why do you have a box cutter, a gun, a container of gas, a gas mask and
an electronic guidance unit in your luggage?" "A
present for your grandmother? Very well sir, on you get." "Very strange", thinks the security
officer. "That's the fourth Arabic man without an Arabic name who just got on
board with a knife, gun or box cutter and gas mask. And why does that security
camera keep flicking off every time one these characters shows up? Must be one
of those days I guess..." Asking
any of these basic questions to a conspiracy theorist is likely to cause a
sudden leap to the claim that we know that they were on board because they left
a credit card trail for the tickets they had purchased and cars they had rented.
So if they used credit cards that identified them, how does that reconcile with
the claim that they used false IDs to get on to the plane? But
by this time ,the fruit loop is in full swing, as the conspiracy theorist tries
to stay one jump ahead of this annoying and awkward rational analysis. They will
point to the fact that the hijackers passports were allegedly found at the crash
scenes. "So there!" they exalt triumphantly, their fanatical faces lighting up
with that deranged look of one who has just a revelation of questionable
sanity. Hmm?
So they got on board with false IDs but took their real passports with them?
However, by this time the fruit loop has been completely circumnavigated, and the conspiracy theorist exclaims
impatiently "Who said anything about false IDs? We know what seats they were
sitting in! Their presence is well
documented!" And so the whole loop starts again. "Well,
why aren't they on the passenger lists?" "You
numbskull ! They assumed the identities of other passengers!" And so
on… Finally,
out of sheer fascination with this circular method of creative delusion , the
rational sceptic will allow them to get away with this loop, in order to move on
to the next question, and see what further delights await us in the unravelling
of this marvellously stupid story. "Uh,
how come their passports survived fiery crashes that completely incinerated the
planes and all the passengers? " |
