Time: Wed Jun 11 12:21:50 1997 by primenet.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with SMTP id MAA07096; Wed, 11 Jun 1997 12:20:27 -0700 (MST) Date: Wed, 11 Jun 1997 12:19:31 -0700 To: (Recipient list suppressed) From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar] Subject: SLS: News of the Future - Here Already (aka "Talking Pickles") <snip> > >This article is copyrighted by NET- Political NewsTalk Network: > >NEWS OF THE FUTURE - HERE ALREADY > >Commentary by Brad Keena > >Thirty years ago, anyone who would have correctly guessed the headlines of >the nineties would have been dismissed as fool for dreaming up such silly >predictions. Even twenty years ago, anyone who could have recited today's >headlines would have been laughed at. Here's a sample from today's news: > >WASHINGTON - Several members of Congress are now publicly questioning the >military's rules against adultery. This following the news an Air Force >general today withdrew from consideration to become the nation's top >military officer because of the uproar over an adulterous affair he had 13 >years ago. > >WASHINGTON - The U.S. Supreme Court today said it will decide the issue of >whether a man can sue his boss for sexual harassment if the boss is also a >man. > >WASHINGTON - A new advocacy group is demanding legalized human cloning. >"Every individual should be able to make himself or herself," said the >leader of the group, Clone Rights United Front. > >ABERDEEN TWP., NJ - In New Jersey, officials say a young woman attending >her high school prom Friday gave birth in a restroom, left the baby to die >in a trash can and returned to the dance floor to resume dancing with her >boyfriend. > >ORLANDO - Disney World rapped up another weekend celebrating homosexuality >at its Florida theme park. 60,000 homosexuals visited Disney World for the >so-called "Gay Days" event, which this year included men dressed as female >Disney characters. Twenty years ago, we would have been shocked to read >these headlines, except on April fools day. Today, such headlines are >commonplace. So, what about the news of tomorrow? If yesterday's outrage is >today's news, it is fair to suggest that today's outrage will tomorrow's news. > >To help you prepare for it, I've written several headlines for the future. >I call it "news of tomorrow." And because tomorrow may be here sooner than >we think, I've decided to write the headlines ten years out: > >WASHINGTON (2007, ten years from now) - President Louis Farrakhan today >outlawed Christianity by signing legislation which Congress approved last >week under the title "Three Prayers and You're Out." > >LONG BEACH (2007, ten years from now) - California today declared war on >Utah. California premier Cho Deng Ping said California's newly organized >People's Liberation Army had run out of Californians to "liberate," adding, >"Since Utah was still free, we decided 'why not?'" > >CHICAGO (2007, ten years from now) - The National Endowment for the Arts >today awarded its highest grant to a Peoria preschooler. The NEA admitted >judges didn't realize the age of the artist when making its selection, >nevertheless awarding the one million dollar grant to three-year-old Lenny >Goffe for his fingerprint portrayal of a talking pickle with ears. > >DETROIT (2007, ten years from now) - Wayne County, Michigan, officials >today unveiled the new Kevorkian Memorial Hospital. The new facility is >named after a local hero, former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Jack Kevorkian. >The motto of the hospital is "You only come here once." > >WASHINGTON (2007, ten years from now) - Senate Speaker pro-tem Trent Lott >today announced he will resign from the Democratic Party to become the 51st >member of the Islamic Party. The Switch now gives the Islamic Party a >working majority in all three houses of Congress - black, white and >transgender. > >CINCINNATI (2007, ten years from now) - The Animal Rights Party today >nominated the nation's first animal presidential candidate. On the third >ballot, Animal Rights Party conventioneers selected "BoBo" the Orangutan - >a liberal - over rival candidate Hillary Clinton - a serpent. And finally . >. . > >KANSAS CITY (2007, ten years from now) - Officials at the >Albright/Izebegovic Political Reeducation Center are now admitting that >human rights activist Paul Weyrich will never be released from the gulag. >And that's today's news of tomorrow. Surprised? Don't be. These and other >headlines are right around the corner. Visit Disney World and you'll see >what I mean. > > >=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= >To unsubscribe from this mailing list, DISREGARD ANY INSTRUCTIONS ABOVE and >go to the Web page at http://www.maillist.net/rightnow.html. New >subscriptions can also be entered at this page. If you cannot access the >World Wide Web, send an e-mail message to RightNow-Request@MailList.Net and >on the SUBJECT LINE put the single word: unsubscribe > > > ======================================================================== Paul Andrew Mitchell : Counselor at Law, federal witness B.A., Political Science, UCLA; M.S., Public Administration, U.C. Irvine tel: (520) 320-1514: machine; fax: (520) 320-1256: 24-hour/day-night email: [address in tool bar] : using Eudora Pro 3.0.2 on 586 CPU website: http://www.supremelaw.com : visit the Supreme Law Library now ship to: c/o 2509 N. Campbell, #1776 : this is free speech, at its best Tucson, Arizona state : state zone, not the federal zone Postal Zone 85719/tdc : USPS delays first class w/o this As agents of the Most High, we came here to establish justice. We shall not leave, until our mission is accomplished and justice reigns eternal. ======================================================================== [This text formatted on-screen in Courier 11, non-proportional spacing.]
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