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Date: Tue, 02 Dec 1997 17:20:53 -0800
To: (Recipient list suppressed)
From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar]
Subject: SLS: Bill Gate's House (fwd)

>Subject: Bill Gates House
>As many people have probably heard by now, Bill Gates built a new
>home, a VERY large home, 35 garages, several buildings and so on.
>However, the problems he's had with the house are much less known.
>The following is an excerpt from a conversation Bill had with his new
>home contractors:
>Bill: There are a few issues we need to discuss
>Contractor: Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for
>the first 90 days and a $75 call thereafter. Okay?
>Bill: Uh, yeah. The first issue is the living room. We think it's a
>little smaller than we anticipated.
>Contractor: Yeah, some compromises were made to have it out by the
>release date.
>Bill: We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there.
>Contractor: Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new,
>larger living room. Or you can use a stacker.
>Bill: Stacker?
>Contractor: Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into
>the living room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment
>center on the couch, the chairs on the table, etc. You leave an empty
>spot, so that when you want to use some furniture, you can unstack
>what you need and put it back when you're done.
>Bill: Uh, I dunno... Issue two. The second issue is the light
>fixtures.  The light bulbs we brought with us from our old house don't
>fit.  The threads run the wrong way.
>Contractor: Oh, that's a feature!  The bulbs you have aren't plug and
>play.  You'll have to upgrade to new bulbs.
>Bill: And the electrical outlets?  The holes are round instead of
>rectangular.  How do I fix that?
>Contractor: That's another feature designed with the customer in
>mind.  Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system.
>Bill: Your kidding!?!
>Contractor: Nope, it's the only way.
>Bill:   (Sighing) Well, I have one last problem. Sometimes when I have
>guests, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water
>pressure drops so low that the showers don't work.
>Contractor: That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing
>to terminate and is hogging the resource, preventing other fixtures
>from accessing.
>Bill: And how do I fix that?
>Contractor: Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house,
>turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house.
>Then you can get back to work.
>Bill: That's the last straw! What kind of product are you selling me?
>Contractor: Hey, if you don't like it, nobody made you buy it.
>Bill: And when will it be fixed?
>Contractor: Oh, in the next house, which we'll be ready to release
>next year.  Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some
>delays...   Sound familiar.....

Paul Andrew Mitchell, Sui Juris      : Counselor at Law, federal witness 01
B.A.: Political Science, UCLA;   M.S.: Public Administration, U.C.Irvine 02
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