Time: Thu Dec 11 12:53:05 1997
From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar]
Subject: SLS: Have Yourself a Microsoft Christmas! (fwd)
Bcc: sls

>Jackie Juntti
> *************** Have Yourself a Microsoft Christmas*************
> 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
> Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
> The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
> As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping.
> The stockings were hung by the modem with care
> In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software.
> The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
> While visions of computer games danced in their heads.
> PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken for Dan,
> And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
> The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,
> To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com -
> Which has now been re-routed to Washington State
> Because Santa's workshop has been bought by Bill Gates.
> All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle
> To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.
> After centuries of a life that was simple and spare,
> St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire,
> With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh,
> And a house on Lake Washington that's just down the way
> From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens
> In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans.
> The elves have stock options and desks with a view,
> Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.
> No more dolls or toy soldiers or little toy drums (ahem - pardon me)
> No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums
> Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS
> With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,
> From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.
> More rapid than eagles the competitors came,
> And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
> "Now, ADOBE! now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too,
> Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you are all of you through,
> It is Microsoft's SANTA that the kids can't resist,
> It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist -
> Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,
> And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.
> Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's scheme,
> And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream.
> To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!
> Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!"
> And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap,
> Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
> When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
> The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,
> As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
> The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.
> As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
> My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.
> And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
> Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
> And I heard them exclaim in voice so bright,

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