Time: Fri May 23 09:17:17 1997 by primenet.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with ESMTP id IAA02072; Fri, 23 May 1997 08:06:10 -0700 (MST) by usr04.primenet.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with SMTP id IAA23862; Fri, 23 May 1997 08:06:05 -0700 (MST) Date: Fri, 23 May 1997 09:15:54 -0700 To: (Recipient list suppressed) From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar] Subject: SLS: comic relief (non-judicial variety) (fwd) <snip> > >For those out there that are not half-wits, the following >should be a good antidote for a chuckle. >-- >Doug > PROPER CARE OF FLOPPIES > >1. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the >disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be >rolled up and stored in pencil holders. > >2. Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal >particles can be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of >the disk. Any stubborn metallic shavings can be removed with scouring >powder and soap. When waxing diskettes, make sure application is even. This >will allow the diskettes to spin faster, resulting in better access time. > >3. Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit in the drive. "Big" >diskettes may be folded and used in "little" disk drives. > >4. Never insert a disk into the drive upside down. The data can fall off >the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive. > >5. Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through the Xerox machine. >If your data is going to need to be backed up, simply insert two diskettes >together into the drive. Whenever you update a document, the data will be >recorded on both diskettes. > >6. If your diskette is full and you need more storage space, remove the >disk from the drive and shake vigorously for two minutes. This will pack >the data enough (Data Compression) to allow for more storage. Be sure to >cover all the openings with scotch tape to prevent loss of data. > >7. Diskettes can be used as coasters for beverage glasses, provided they >have been properly waxed beforehand. Be sure to wipe the diskettes dry >before inserting into drive. (see item #2 above.) > >8. Never use scissors and glue to manually edit documents. The data stored >is much too small to be seen with the naked eye, and you may end up with >data from some other document stuck in the middle of your document. Razor >blades and scotch tape may be used, provided the user is equipped with an >electron microscope. > >9. Periodically spray diskettes with insecticide to prevent system bugs >from spreading. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------------- > >An old spinster left instructions that when she died, she wanted the >following inscription on her tombstone: "Born a Virgin, Lived as a Virgin, >Died a Virgin." The tombstone carver gave his workers the instructions, but >they were a lazy bunch and decided to shorten the inscription. They wrote: >"Returned unopened." > ======================================================================== Paul Andrew, Mitchell, B.A., M.S. : Counselor at Law, federal witness email: [address in tool bar] : Eudora Pro 3.0.1 on Intel 586 CPU web site: http://www.supremelaw.com : library & law school registration ship to: c/o 2509 N. Campbell, #1776 : this is free speech, at its best Tucson, Arizona state : state zone, not the federal zone Postal Zone 85719/tdc : USPS delays first class w/o this ========================================================================
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