Time: Fri May 23 09:17:17 1997
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Date: Fri, 23 May 1997 09:15:54 -0700
To: (Recipient list suppressed)
From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar]
Subject: SLS: comic relief (non-judicial variety) (fwd)

<snip>
>
>For those out there that are not half-wits, the following
>should be a good antidote for a chuckle.
>-- 
>Doug
>                          PROPER CARE OF FLOPPIES
>
>1. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the 
>disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be 
>rolled up and stored in pencil holders.
>
>2. Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal 
>particles can be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of 
>the disk. Any stubborn metallic shavings can be removed with scouring 
>powder and soap. When waxing diskettes, make sure application is even. This 
>will allow the diskettes to spin faster, resulting in better access time.
>
>3. Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit in the drive. "Big" 
>diskettes may be folded and used in "little" disk drives.
>
>4. Never insert a disk into the drive upside down. The data can fall off 
>the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.
>
>5. Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through the Xerox machine.  
>If your data is going to need to be backed up, simply insert two diskettes 
>together into the drive. Whenever you update a document, the data will be 
>recorded on both diskettes.
>
>6. If your diskette is full and you need more storage space, remove the 
>disk from the drive and shake vigorously for two minutes. This will pack 
>the data enough (Data Compression) to allow for more storage. Be sure to  
>cover all the openings with scotch tape to prevent loss of data.
>
>7. Diskettes can be used as coasters for beverage glasses, provided they  
>have been properly waxed beforehand. Be sure to wipe the diskettes dry  
>before inserting into drive. (see item #2 above.)
>
>8. Never use scissors and glue to manually edit documents. The data stored  
>is much too small to be seen with the naked eye, and you may end up with  
>data from some other document stuck in the middle of your document. Razor 
>blades and scotch tape may be used, provided the user is equipped with an 
>electron microscope.
>
>9. Periodically spray diskettes with insecticide to prevent system bugs  
>from spreading.
>
>---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>An old spinster left instructions that when she died, she wanted the 
>following inscription on her tombstone: "Born a Virgin, Lived as a Virgin, 
>Died a Virgin." The tombstone carver gave his workers the instructions, but 
>they were a lazy bunch and decided to shorten the inscription. They wrote: 
>"Returned unopened."
>


========================================================================
Paul Andrew, Mitchell, B.A., M.S.    : Counselor at Law, federal witness
email:       [address in tool bar]   : Eudora Pro 3.0.1 on Intel 586 CPU
web site:  http://www.supremelaw.com : library & law school registration
ship to: c/o 2509 N. Campbell, #1776 : this is free speech,  at its best
             Tucson, Arizona state   : state zone,  not the federal zone
             Postal Zone 85719/tdc   : USPS delays first class  w/o this
========================================================================


      

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