Time: Sat Nov 02 12:51:12 1996 To: Nancy Lord <defense@macon.mindspring.com> From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar] Subject: computer industry laughs Cc: Bcc: At 12:14 PM 11/2/96 -0500, you wrote: >At 03:41 AM 11/2/96 -0700, you wrote: >>Side splitters from the computer industry: > >Paul, > This is the funniest thing I've ever read. I >have tears coming out of my eyes. > >Nancy Hi Nancy, My toaster ate my passport (got to it before the "Gids".) /s/ Paul Mitchell > >> >>Can you believe that these things really happen? >> >>So you think you're computer-illiterate? Check out the following >>excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article by Jim Carlton -- >> >> >>1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to >>"Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the >>"Any" key is. >> >>2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse >>was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out >>to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. >> >>3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man >>complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files >>from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and >>heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the >>customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the >>typewriter to type the labels. >> >>4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective >>diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer >>along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies. >> >>5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled >>floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked >>the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, >>getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room. >> >>6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his >>computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, >>the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of >>paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting >>the "send" key. >> >>7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so >>a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got >>me a couple of friends, "the customer replied. When told Egghead >>was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for >>me to find a couple of geeks." >> >>8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard >>no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with >>soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing >>all the keys and washing them individually. >> >>9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was >>enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an >>invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" >>and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally. >> >>10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't >>get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer >>was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she >>pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on >>this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out >>to be the computer's mouse. >> >>11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her >>brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the >>unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for >>something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed >>the power switch, she asked "What power switch?" >> >>12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: >> >>Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?" >>Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?" >>Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty >> period. How do I go about getting that fixed?" >>Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?" >>Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer." >>Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because >> I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, >> at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? >> Does it have any trademark on it?" >>Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a >> promotional. It just has '4X' on it." >> >>At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he >>couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the >>CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive! >> >>8-] >> >>=========================================================== >>Paul Andrew, Mitchell, B.A., M.S.: pmitch@primenet.com >>ship to: c/o 2509 N. Campbell, #1776, Tucson, Arizona state >>=========================================================== >> >> > >
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