Time: Tue Nov 26 07:51:28 1996 To: From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar] Subject: God - creation of the universe Cc: Bcc: liberty lists In principio erat EPA. /s/ Paul Mitchell <snip> >In the Beginning - >================ >God created heaven and earth. Quickly he was faced with a class action >suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted >a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the cease and >desist order for the earthly part. > >Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project >in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative. > >Then God said, "Let there be light," and immediately the officials >demanded to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? >What about thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from >a huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, >assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire; that he would >obtain a building permit; and to conserve energy, would have the light out >half the time. > >God agreed and said he would the call the light "Day" and the darkness >"Night." Officials replied that they were not interested in semantics. > >God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herbs and such as may seed." >The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. > >Then God said, "Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and >the fowl that may fly over the earth." Officials pointed out this would >require approval from the Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly >Wildlife Federation and the Audubonelic Society. > >Everything was okay until God said he wanted to complete the project in >six days. Officials said it would take at least 200 days to review the >application and the impact statement. After that there would be public >hearings. Then there would be 10-12 months before... > >At this point God created Hell. >-- > >Hope ya'll enjoyed this, > >Phil, pmurphy@rtd.com <snip>
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