Time: Sat Apr 05 09:34:51 1997
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Date: Sat, 05 Apr 1997 09:34:26 -0800
To: (Recipient list suppressed)
From: Paul Andrew Mitchell [address in tool bar]
Subject: L&J: Spring has Sprung! (fun fun fun)
<snip>
> New York Times
> April 5, 1997
>
>
> LIBERTIES / By MAUREEN DOWD
>
> Spring Sprang Sprung
>
> WASHINGTON -- It's hard to keep you mind on chicanery
> in the spring.
>
> Our spring, after all, is almost as luminous as spring
> in Paris. (What April in Paris has over April in
> Washington is Paris.) Robert Byrd of West Virginia
> once recited a verse on the Senate floor featuring
> larks on wing, snails on thorn and dew-pearled
> hillsides. And there was this effort by a Washington
> Post Style writer:
>
> Spring is here.
> The sap is ris.
> I wonder how the panda is?
>
> Sure, we have the stranger-than-fiction story of a
> businesswoman raising money for the Democrats
> putting the touch on a Cuban drug smuggler at the
> Copacabana in Havana. It's a wacky cross between
> "Guys and Dolls" and "Godfather II." Were they
> sipping Cuba libres in Cuba not-so-libre and doing
> the D.N.C. mambo?
>
> But at the National Zoo, we have baby Cuban
> crocodiles having spring flings.
>
> Sure, we have the First Lady once more trying to
> wipe her fingerprints off another scandal.
>
> But in the Rose Garden, we have a blaze of Nancy
> Reagan red, Betty Ford yellow and Rosalynn Carter
> peach.
>
> Sure, we have Joe Lockhart, a spokesman for Al
> Gore, claiming that when the Vice President went to
> that Buddhist temple, he did not know it was a
> fund-raiser, but simply thought it was "a
> finance-related event."
>
> But we also have the cherry blossom festival or, as it
> is known in the Clinton era, a flora-related event.
>
> Sure, we have the President scampering around
> trying to explain why Webb Hubbell, the man who
> knows all, got hush-related money.
>
> But we also have squirrels scampering around the
> White House veranda.
>
> Anyhow, I started out doing a serious analysis of
> how Mr. Hubbell, a witness in several investigations
> that were threatening the President and First Lady,
> got his own $400,000-plus financial aid package
> with the help of senior Clinton aides and the now
> famous capo di tutti capi nod from Mrs. Clinton.
>
> The President says they helped Mr. Hubbell out of
> "human compassion." Suddenly, the White House is
> a Center for Effective Compassion. Trouble is, this
> center isn't so effective, since everybody knows that
> the misfortune of friends does not exactly break the
> Clintons' hearts. There has to be another reason to
> help out. Throwing money Webb's way might shut
> him up. And what a good deed, too!
>
> But it's too nice outside to belabor the obvious. My
> computer is drenched with sunshine and longing for
> lollipops. Oh, no!!! It's the Larry King virus again!!!
>
> Questions, questions: Are there still any wackos left
> who believe Vince Foster was murdered? . . . You
> can't find better musical theater than "Chicago." . . .
> I'm a sucker for stuffed animals.
>
> . . . Wasn't Ronald Reagan an underrated actor? . . .
> Do people want Ellen to come out? Or do they want
> her to shut up? . . . Can't someone get Jenny
> McCarthy off that toilet? . . . Duchess Fergie will
> write a column for The New York Times Syndicate
> "from the perspective of her life unfolding on a
> global stage." Makes me want to Di!! . . . Can you
> believe that Dick Morris made $1.5 million on
> Clinton's TV ads? Those poor Buddhist monks,
> they're eating even less.
>
> . . . Let me get this straight, folks: Harold Ickes gets
> no severance package from the White House and
> suddenly his papers turn up in the hands of Dan
> Burton? Hmmmmm. Such are life's little stories.
>
> Hodgepodge: I'll give "Shine" Best Picture next year
> if they promise not to bring David Helfgott back.
>
> . . . Doesn't Dick Gephardt make Al Gore look like
> Cuba Gooding Jr.? . . . ABC is producing a movie
> on the Heaven's Gate cult. That should improve their
> Nielsen ratings at the Level Above Human.
>
> . . . Alan Greenspan's getting married this Sunday.
> Watch that prime rate this Monday!!!
>
> My 2 cents: Best bet for summer beach reading: a
> memoir by Harriet Wasserman, the literary agent
> Saul Bellow dumped, recounting her adventures
> watching Bellow "stand on his head, hop on one
> booted foot up a mountain road, play the violin, iron
> his pants after being caught in a downpour, and
> accept the Nobel prize." I'm speechless.
>
> . . . The mother of Ennis Cosby's murderer wants a
> book contract? Paging Harry Evans.
>
> . . . So much stuff, so little space.
>
>
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Paul Andrew, Mitchell, B.A., M.S. : Counselor at Law, federal witness
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